Kristen

A lot of my writing happens when I wake up with something on my mind
and feel the need to go put it on paper. This morning I woke up with
my friend, Kristen, on my mind. I was dreaming a really weird dream
in which I was trying to get to her wedding. (A wedding to a man she
is already married to, even before I met her.) I kept getting lost or
sidetracked by someone or something. (I would go
into further detail but it was a dream and the details kept changing.)
I woke crying.The emotions of the dream were so real. I felt as if I had
let her down. She needed me to be there and I wasn’t.


I remember the moment I met Kristen so clearly. I was sitting in the
UNA library with the rest of the incoming BSN class of May, 2005.
It was a class to orient us to the library and man were we going to
need it! The presentation had not started and I was sitting there staring
straight ahead and praying that the tears that filled
my eyes would not spill over. I was 23 years old and too old to be
crying at school. I felt so overwhelmed. The instructors were laying
it on thick about how hard the program was. I was married with two
very small children, commuting to UNA from Corinth every day.
They had already mentioned that they didn’t care about that.
I didn’t know anyone there.

So, I was in the throes of feeling sorry for myself, when I looked
over to my left. A beautiful blonde girl was coming toward me.
Out of all the empty chairs, she walked up to one next to me, and
in a soft voice asked, “Is anyone sitting here?”

I was still trying not to cry, so I just shook my head instead of
speaking and tried to smile. I was a grown-up. I would have to
talk to people I do not know to make friends. I think I said
something about the class and asked her for her
name--Kristen from Baldwyn--I like the name Kristen. I saw
her wedding ring set. She was married too. We didn’t talk much.
The class started. I got over my tears for the 4th time that day and
settled in to learning the ins and outs of the library
computer system.

When the class was over, we had a break. I walked with Kristen
over to the Nursing building. We both were unable to buy a
Fundamentals book that day because the bookstore was out.
One of the instructors let us borrow hers. Kristen
and I did our first homework assignment over the same book.
We traded phone numbers just in case either of us needed one
another to ask questions.

That was all I remember about the first day, but that was the
beginning. We became fast friends. Fortunately, we were assigned
to the same clinical group, so we spent a good deal more time together.
There is a picture somewhere of our first day at the hospital in those
awful uniforms. I think she has it. She let me talk incessantly.
She laughed at my jokes. She was great to be silly with when we
were under all that pressure. We sat by each other in every class
and would squeeze in friend time during the breaks.

She and her husband, Tony, had an apartment there in Florence.
Whenever I needed something, they were there. When I had a flat
tire downtown, I called Kristen and she called Tony. I remember
sitting on the pavement watching him change it. I think that might
have been the first time I met him. They would let me come and stay in
their spare room when we had an early clinical. When I was too
poor to eat out they let me keep my bologna and cheese in their
refrigerator.

Kristen was more than my school friend. When someone at home
asked who Kristen was, I told them, “She’s my best friend.” She was
one of the few people in the world and the only one at school that knew
my marriage was hanging by a thread. She knew how broke I was.
She let me cry on her shoulder when I didn’t know how I was
going to make it through the next day, much less the next 2 years.

Their apartment was a safe haven for me. I could go there and feel
at home anytime. Tony and Kristen went home to Baldwyn most every
weekend. When God did a miracle in my home and Eric began to woo
me again, Tony and Kristen let us stay in their apartment in Florence for
the weekend because we couldn’t afford a hotel.

After I told Eric, I called Kristen when I found out I was pregnant
with Amelia. I was glad for another baby but I questioned God's timing.
I wasn’t sure of the dates and I didn’t know if I would be done with
nursing school. We were broke and living with my granny in her three
bedroom house. I was anxious about telling our families because they
were already helping us so much. Kristen knew all that and understood.

Over and over, she was there when I needed her. I know it was
probably difficult for her to be my friend at times but she bore it without
complaint or hard feeling. When life got easier she was there to share
my joy. After a year at UNA, Kristen and Tony left and went back home.
I know that she sometimes wonders why she even went to school in
Florence. I don’t know all of the reasons but I know one
thing—GOD KNEW I NEEDED HER. He allowed her to come there
so I could meet her and be her friend.

We are both nurses now, even after all of those days wondering if
we would ever make it. She delivers babies at the Women’s Center in
Tupelo. She is now the mother of 3 beautiful children. I got to be there
for the birth of all of them. We don’t get to talk to each other as much
as I would like. We hardly ever get to see one another either.
But a friendship like ours is a forever one. I just wanted to let you know
how much she means to me, and that I would never miss her wedding
if I could help it. I will be there if she needs me.