The Lancaster Comedy Club

Our house is a regular laugh factory and I wanted to share.
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I came in late this evening because I had to go to town. When I arrived home I was pleased that Eric had already started the kids on their baths. Amelia was upstairs and was putting on her pajamas. I went up with Tess to get her started and to blow dry Amelia's hair. I began to comb her hair and noticed that the ends weren't dry but that her roots were.

I asked, "Amelia, did you wash your hair?"

She just stared at me (I believe pondering whether or not she should tell the truth because she might get in trouble). "I took a bubble bath, Momma!"

So, I asked again, "Amelia did you forget to wash your hair?"

She nodded her head. I told her that I would wash it in the morning.

She seemed relieved that I didn't get upset. She began to confess.

"I forgot to wash a lot of things. (Pause) I forgot to wash my whole body. (Pause) BUT, I washed my feet!"

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Tess has been really concerned lately with making money. She is constantly dreaming up new ways to earn a buck or two. She has been offering her cleaning services to anyone who will have her for $5. All I have to do is to drive her around the county to the jobs. I guess I am the one paying for the gas.

She was sitting at the table over a notebook the other day. I asked her what she was up to. She said, "I am designing things to sell in Aunt Emmy's store."

I pondered this. After Emily started knitting, Tess thinks that whatever she needs clothing-wise that Aunt Emmy can knit-up with a few clicks of the needle. Because of this, I assumed that she was referring to Emily selling some of her knitting. I said, "Aunt Emmy doesn't have a store, she just takes orders and makes what she needs to from home."

Tess replied, "I know, but they are building a store. Uncle Jason said so."

"Where?" I queried.

"At their house." she replied matter of factly.

It then dawned on me. "Tess, are you talking about Uncle Jason's shop?"

She nodded. "I can't wait to sell stuff." She grinned and she started working on her designs again.

I was sorry that I had to explain to her that the shop would be a place for Uncle Jason to keep his tools and the boat so that it wasn't outside.

She understood and wasn't too disappointed. She just said, "OOHHHH." and begain to work again.

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Just in case you missed my status post...

Ty came home from church holding a marigold planted in a styrofoam cup.

I said, "Is that for me?"

He hid it quickly behind his back and said, "No." He started rocking on his feet and looking skyward with his big brown eyes.

I asked, "Why does it say 'Mom' on the side of the cup?"

He grinned at me and said, "That's my nickname at church." And ran into the house.

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Last weekend, Eric's nephew got married. Both of the girls were in the wedding. Eric had a ballgame in Tupelo so Ty had to endure the wedding rehearsal even though he wasn't in the wedding party.

After rehearsal began, Ty leaned up and asked where the bathroom was. I asked him if something was wrong because I knew that he had just gone to the bathroom. He grinned and said, "I've got to get some tissue. I am an emotional wreck," making fun of the mommas who were running around crazy.

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Amelia was so excited about be in the wedding. She felt like a princess in her new white dress. As we were getting ready to go to the church for rehearsal, she asked, "Are we going to the wedding try-outs? I hope I do good, Momma."

I was glad to explain that she didn't have to try out, just practice, because she had already made the cut.

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Amelia has been really helpful to me lately. She has so much energy and I have so little, I just try to harness hers. I send her upstairs for things and have her pick things up for me.

At her school, her work from the day is always on the floor underneath her name. One afternoon when I was picking her up I said, "Amelia will you please pick those up for Momma? You are such a big help to me."

She said, "Yeah, Momma, I have to help you because if you get down there you may never get up!"

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Thanks for humoring me by listening to my kid stories.